Sitzfleisch

Sitzfleisch ("sitting meat"): “the ability to stay in a sedentary position for an extended period of time”

Just about everyone has made the experience that it’s not always easy to get a visitor to clear the place out. Especially when there’s still beer in the fridge. 

Stuhlgang

Stuhlgang: The act of having a poop is formally called “chair walk” in German and I’m not really sure if I think that’s beautiful

There is that bar in Berlin called Das Klo (“the loo”). Given the name, it’s not hard to imagine what it is: a toilet-themed drinking location where you sit on an actual water closet while enjoying your pilsner.

Geheimratsecken

Geheimratsecken: When your hairline recedes above your temples, Germans will say you are getting “secret council corners”

Nature is very unjust when it comes to hair loss. Some guys will still look like a Monchichi in their 60s. Others get close to baldness even before their Abitur.

Kummerspeck

Kummerspeck ("sorrow bacon"): German has an extra word for the weight you gain when you are feeling down

I am sure we have all had our fair share of painful breakups. More often than not, the grief is so strong that it moves from the soul into the body and becomes apparent in the form of drastic weight changes.

Erdbeerwoche

Erdbeerwoche "strawberry week": A very creative way to refer to menstruation in German

Erdbeerwoche is a undeniably awesome euphemism for that time of the month. There are even more hilarious expressions for mother nature’s gift.

Sommersprossen

Sommersprossen ("summer sprouts"): That‘s how Germans refer to freckles, and I think they look cute at any time of the year

Some might see them as a beauty flaw. Others, however, believe they look pretty cute on the faces of celebrities like Emma Watson, Dakota Fanning or Emily Ratajkowski.

Seitensprung

Seitensprung ("side jump"): That‘s how Germans refer to an affair, and I think it sounds more like an Olympic discipline than a romantic adventure

In Germany, women are the ones who are in the lead when it comes to cheating. At least, that’s what a representative study from 2020 suggests.

Muskelkater

Muskelkater: When your body feels all stiff and sore after you have worked out, Germans will say you have a terrible “muscle tomcat”

More than 10 million Germans are members of a fitness club. Many of them demonstrate an iron German discipline, never leaving the gym until they have completed their third set of selfies.

Mitesser

Mitesser ("eating companion"): That‘s how Germans refer to a blackhead and I think it‘s...quite a disgusting idea actually

The term “Mitesser” first appeared in a dictionary at the end of the 17th century. The expression refers to the widespread belief at the time that diseases were mainly due to parasites.

Spargeltarzan

Spargeltarzen ("asparagus Tarzan"): That‘s how Germans refer to an extremely skinny man

It might be true that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming. But still: men who don’t have an ounce of fat on their ribs always look a bit dorky to me.