German words for penis: Fleischpeitsche, Schwengel, Lümmel, Kantholz

flesh whip – clapper – gooseneck – scantling / German words for penis 

Let’s talk about the ding-dong. The average German’s best piece is exactly 14.52 cm long—a full 1.35 cm less impressive than a Dutchman’s pik and a mind-blowing 3.09 cm shorter that an average Ecuadorian pijo. But hey, we still beat Switzerland. 

Germans have to face the fact that their manhood is extremely average when measured in size—taking 40th place out of 88 countries according to a recent study. However, what Germany lacks in magnitude, the country compensates in their sheer amount of different word on offer to describe the man’s pride and joy. 

As for the examples stated above, I have focussed on some frequently used expressions – but there are many, many, more. I put the link down below to a page that lists about 600 options to chose from: some of my personal favorites including Donnerlunte (“thunder fuse”), Grottentaucher (“cave diver”), Freudenrüssel (“trunk of joy”) – and Blitzwurst, which I probably don’t need to translate. 



German Is Weird: Crazy Words von Arschkarte bis Zielwasser - from "ass card" to "aiming water"

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German Is Weird: Crazy Words von Arschkarte bis Zielwasser - from "ass card" to "aiming water"

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